I've currently been working on my next write up (Sing It Loud), but before I even continue working on that, while the butterflies in my stomach are still fresh I need to say this. Envy on the Coast announced tonight that Sal and Jer are leaving and that this is the end. My initial reaction was simply a panic attack... then sadness... then some anger. Mind you I was trying to keep it classy by commenting on their announcement and saying thank you for all the great times I've had over the past few years. This is the most in depth thank you I could ever say to them. Well, try more of a timeline rather than a simple "thank you."
April 2007: It was the first time I had ever seen them live. Envy was headlining... TEMPLE show represent!!! I arrived 2 hours early assuming I would have to wait outside in the nice weather, but no. Brian greeted us at the door and let us come in even though doors were supposed to open only a little while before the show. That was where I met a lot of new bands I had never heard of before including Blameshift, Robbie Hassett, The Junior Varsity, Destiny or Design, and as the opening band (no really, get this): Stereo Skyline. When we got there, Envy hadn't even done their soundcheck yet, so yea, I couldn't believe that I was allowed to walk into the completely empty room (except for some merch tables) and watch their soundcheck. This was when they had a 6 song setlist. The 5 songs off of their EP and their 'new' song: "Sugar Skulls." I was in the very front row loving every second of their set, including actually feeling Brian's sweat fall on my face when he did a little hair flip while playing (I know, gross). I will never ever forget my first Envy show. It holds so much importance and come on, I can't forget the days when there was no facial hair and Ryan wasn't sporting luscious dreads.
August 2007: Lucy Gray CD release party! It was at Looney Tunes... right before it burned down to the ground and they redid it. The OLD Looney Tunes you could say. We were running late, so my friend Elaine and I stood in the back... next to Robbie Hassett, but we didn't mind. Ryan had said that they just finished filming their first music video, but I remember feeling like it took FOREVER for their "Sugar Skulls" video to finally be released. I don't mean to put so much focus on Ryan, but this was when he just got his new dreads. It was a slight shocker, and while he shook the maracas to "Vultures" with no shoes on, I couldn't help but think I had just walked into some surreal Tarzan performance. It was the day before the Long Island Warped Tour date and I was absolutely heartbroken that I had tickets, but wasn't allowed to go, so being at the very very very first Lucy Gray show ever made me feel quite special. It was a good feeling. After their set, we waited on line to get our CDs signed. Brian asked me my name and wrote "Becca" across the top of the album art. They each signed it, and I'll never forget how Jer looked to Bri and said "She looks like your sister."
"Yea... in a really different way."
"Yea, a different way."
I felt awkward and didn't know what to say, so me being the selfish person that I am, I asked if Brian's sister was pretty. They said "Of course!" and so what if I was fishing for a few compliments from my favorite band? Dan personally shook my hand as he read my sweatshirt that simply read GEEK across it as he said "It's ok. I'm a geek too. Nice to meet you!" The whole car ride home, I listened to Lucy Gray feeling so happy that I had new Envy on the Coast music to listen to (and the fact that the release party was a few days before the actual CD came out to the public!) and that I had a new Envy experience to tell my friends about at camp the next Monday when I saw them.
November 2007: I joined the Envy boards. Through the boards I met so many new people that all had the same love and passion for the boys and their music as I did. Absolutely none of them were "fan gurls," they never talked about how hot they were, and they had a unique sense of... precision and organization when it came to posting. I've gotten to know such wonderful people and I even regret not staying consistent with my posting on the boards. Thanks girlies! I wish I could name each and every one of you on here.
December 2007: Well, there's not much to say about this month, but I had the Lucy Gray balloons painted on my bedroom wall. I took pictures when it was done and sent them to Envy's myspace. I assumed they wouldn't respond because it wasn't tattoo photos, but I was wrong. Brian personally responded saying that they looked really good, but he wouldn't want to sleep in the same room as "those fucking creepy balloons."
December 2008: Their annual holiday show had 2 Long Island dates, 2 days in a row. December 29th and December 30th. I got invited to a Sweet 16 December 30th. I'm sorry, but who plans a party on the day of Envy's holiday show? Haha. Clearly, someone who "doesn't get it." December 29th was my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend, and he surprised me with tickets and a bouquet of black roses (don't judge, they're my favorite flowers). No romantic date needed. For me, there's nothing better than a night of moshing to my favorite band.
February 2009: Saying goodbye is never fun. Yes I was heartbroken (not as heartbroken as I am now though), but inside I trusted each of their decisions. With sadness, there was much hope and excitement for their new music.
June 2009: I was living in Boston for a few days for a summer program at my dream school, Berklee College of Music. Envy was opening for Taking Back Sunday extremely near by at House of Blues, I had tickets, I couldn't be anymore anxious to go, but at the last minute I wasn't allowed to go. Well, I guess you can't win 'em all.
August 2009: It was a blink-182 show and first I spotted Ryan towards the front watching Taking Back Sunday's set, but later I saw Brian, Jer, and Sal wandering around looking for their seats. I had seen them in person multiple times before and had spoken to them multiple times, but spotting them at a time that I didn't expect to see them, made me weirdly star struck. They finally found their seats. Their seats were directly behind mine. I creepily spent more time turning around and making awkward eye contact rather than simply watching blink's set.
December 2009: Seats for their annual holiday show? Say what?! The idea of seats made me nervous, but luckily I had amazing 2nd row seats, and just like always, Envy played an amazing set and even made me forget I was stuck in one spot. Ryan looked like a drunk forgetting that the stage spun and As Tall As Lions was an excellent choice for an opening band. I couldn't have been anymore pleased, but what did I expect? The boys always delivered.
January 2010: Haiti Relief show in my hometown! They were finally on my territory and ya know what that means? Not much, except for the fact that I knew which pizza place was the best place to go to after the show. I showed up early, waited on line with bags and bags of things to donate to people in need. I know I said there isn't anything better than moshing to your favorite band, but I take that back. There's nothing better than a night of moshing to your favorite band while helping those in need in Haiti. ;)
March 2010: Lowcountry! Envy opened my eyes to a slightly new genre. They were still the same band with minor changes and I was perfectly fine to opening to change. I opened my pre-order package, carefully taking out the CD, the autographed zine, the Lowcountry patch, and the Lowcountry t-shirt singing to myself "Now I have a t-shirt to go with my scars..."
April 2010: Oh, beautiful Irving Plaza. I managed to get towards the front of the line as a friend of mine let me wait with her, because she somehow managed to cut a drunk kid on line. I don't know. Don't ask. Once again, their performance was everything I hoped for and was even worth waiting 'til 1 in the morning or so for the next train in Penn Station. The things we do for the bands we love.
July 2010: This would be where I am right now. Heartbroken, but feeling much better a few hours later after writing all of this out. I'm sorry if I forgot anything else in my little timeline (as I'm sure I did). I can't thank you boys enough for all the wonderful memories and all the amazing music you've produced together. I've had the pleasure of seeing you grow through your music and not only that, but I've had the pleasure of growing WITH your music. I wouldn't be the person that I am today if it weren't for all of you. I know it sounds cheesy! But it's the truth. Whether it's your lyrics that get me through a tough time or simply your musical influence on me as a musician. Thank you thank you thank you for everything. This may be the end, but it's not THE END.
"Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." ~Charlie Parker
<3becca
